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Me and @gradynoonen playing Baba O’Riley in my basement yesterday over lunch. Captured by the horrible mic on my phone. You can’t really hear it in this recording, but Grady is a friggin’ DRUM MONSTER.

Better

Me: “So what would you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka in it?”

@adamseitz: “Better.”

Hurricane Earl

  • …needs you to follow him down to the Dairy Queen and jump-start his truck.
  • …just pissed all over your toilet seat and tried to blame it on the dog.
  • …could use a couple of bucks, just until Thursday.
  • …sent bestiality porn to your work email.
  • …suggests that we kill them all and let god sort them out.
  • …has had it up to here with the liberal media conspiracy.

People Who Just Made The List

  • The woman at the next table who used the word “celebs” without any trace of sarcasm.
  • All people over 15 who are still struggling with you’re/your.
  • The agency responsible for Quiznos ads.
  • Guy Fieri

eoporto said:  I bet you’re having fun placing icons.

eoporto said:  I bet you’re having fun placing icons.

I’m using this photo as my new desktop image.
partypeoplekc:

The gravity in the bar shifted, only Candee was prepared.

I’m using this photo as my new desktop image.

partypeoplekc:

The gravity in the bar shifted, only Candee was prepared.

How Good This BBQ Sauce Is

  • It’s so good that Pitchfork gave it an unprecedented 9.9.
  • If the last drop of this sauce landed on Hitler’s butt, I’d lick it off.
  • This sauce dated Pamela Anderson, back when that meant something.
  • This sauce would eat itself if it weren’t for the metaphysical ramifications.

Stock Responses to Common Greetings

“What’s up?”

  • The slow, grinding monotony of a life wasted in perpetual mediocrity. What’s up with you?
  • Woah. Settle down, Jack Bauer. You want to let me finish my coffee before you start this interrogation?
  • I can’t feel my toes. I CAN’T FEEL MY TOES!
  • What? Do you not follow me on Twitter?
FTW!
3rdmartini:

The level 70 Ass Mage launches a surprise attack.

FTW!

3rdmartini:

The level 70 Ass Mage launches a surprise attack.

Sween is a line dancing novice.

Sween is a line dancing novice.

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