Stock Responses to Common Greetings
“What’s up?”
- The slow, grinding monotony of a life wasted in perpetual mediocrity. What’s up with you?
- Woah. Settle down, Jack Bauer. You want to let me finish my coffee before you start this interrogation?
- I can’t feel my toes. I CAN’T FEEL MY TOES!
- What? Do you not follow me on Twitter?
