So, this happened.
If you’re having one of those weeks, you might be tempted to ask, “How could this week possibly get even more messed up?” If you have my luck, the universe will accept this challenge and ramp up the weirdness.
My morning started out rather well. It took a weird turn when I took my dogs outside for our morning walk. There was an incredibly confused kid getting out of my car. It took me at least ten seconds to process what the hell was going on, then I snapped into bad-ass mode, while I had two adorable little dogs in tow on pink and purple leashes. (Season bought the leashes, that wasn’t my call.)
“Who the fuck are you? What are you doing?”
“What? Where am I? I don’t know! I DON’T KNOW!”
I managed to wrangle the dogs back into the house and head back outside to deal with the reason I would not have time to make a healthy and delicious breakfast.
This kid is about 21, has no shoes and his belt is undone. He’s freezing his ass off and insists he has no idea where he is. A woman drives by and starts yelling at him. I’m hoping that it’s his mother and she can cart him away and I can continue with my life. It’s not. The woman says this kid has been walking up and down the street knocking on doors. She can’t deal with it because she’s taking her kids to school.
By this time my neighbor had come out to see what was up. I catch her up on what’s going on. Since she’s much more intelligent and rational than I am, she calls the police. What happens next is about 30 minutes of uncomfortable silence while me, my neighbor and a barely coherent kid wait for the police to take him away. The kid has no idea what happened, he was at Mike’s (55th & Troost) and that’s the last thing he remembers. He managed to lose his shoes, keys and his phone. And the cherry on top of this bizarre cake, it turns out he’s a medical student.
The cops show up and do what cops do in a situation like this, I guess. They take walk him to their car, my neighbor and I laugh about the whole thing and go about our days.
So thanks, random kid, for drooling all over my car. I don’t know what liquid it was that you left on the floor mat, but let’s pretend that was drool also.
How could this week get even more messed up? Your move, universe.
