What's the opposite of hoarding?
Have you seen the reality series Hoarders? Here’s how A&E describes it:
A&E’s Hoarders offers a look inside the lives of people whose inability to part with their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of a personal crisis.
So, I’m curious. Is there an official medical disorder that is the exact opposite of hoarding? If so, I definitely have it.
When I moved out of the house to go to college, everything I owned fit into a 1988 Buick Regal. I thought to myself, this is the perfect amount of stuff to have. I will never need any more stuff than I can squeeze into this Buick.
Then I moved into an apartment and furniture entered the game. So I amended my Zen-like detachment from things to include a bed and a chair. I had to abandon my Buick-scale life for a Buick-and-a-pickup life.
I then moved in with my girlfriend. Suddenly “me and my stuff” became “us and our stuff.” As a result, the net amount of stuff was quadrupled. She has a lot of stuff. A. Lot. Of. Stuff. And that’s perfectly fine, she likes stuff, I don’t, and somehow we make it work. Buick-and-a-pickup life became a multi-moving-truck life.
But here’s the sticky part, I often fantasize about throwing nearly everything away. It’s almost as if I’m trying to revert back to my Buick-life status. So maybe A&E would like to do a reality show about me. The basic gist of the show would be shots of me laughing maniacally while throwing my unneeded belongings into a dumpster. Occasionally, it would cut to scenes of my girlfriend and I arguing about why she feels she needs to keep boxes of VHS tapes that will never be watched. Possible catch phrase: “If it don’t fit in the Buick, throw it away bu-quick!”
I’d watch it.
