The816

School’s Out(side)

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:11:08 -0600

School’s Out(side)

My Mission Statement (Initial Drafts)

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 22:30:25 -0600

Chris asks “What’s the worst that could happen?” And if the answer isn’t, “You’ll be eaten by bears” then he will do that thing.
Chris will provide effective business solutions that leverage consumer insights and then he will then eat some tacos and take a nap.
Chris is committed to the ongoing development of business relationships that result in free beer.
Chris will do his best to stay awake while you’re talking.
Chris’ mission is to Google other company’s mission statements and then copy and paste the best parts of each that create the best solution for your unique business challenges.
Chris is the Midwest’s largest provider of awesomeness and it committed to being awesome at all times.

This is where I’m going to work, this is the kind of thing...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:38:17 -0600

This is where I’m going to work, this is the kind of thing I’ll be creating and this is why I’m ridiculously excited about the future.

In the future, all workplace communication will happen with...

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:11:29 -0600

In the future, all workplace communication will happen with signs.

Boulevard’s highly anticipated Chocolate Ale will be in...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 10:39:43 -0600

Boulevard’s highly anticipated Chocolate Ale will be in stores and bars soon. If last year’s release was any indication, it’s going to be hard to get your hands on a bottle of this tasty stuff. That’s why I created a web app that will help you find Chocolate Ale.

Where To Find Boulevard Chocolate Ale

Enjoy! And good luck!

How and when do you listen to podcasts? (especially lengthy ones like that!) I've never gotten into them much, but maybe I'm doing it wrong.

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 13:06:34 -0600

This is a great question and something that I’ve been thinking quite a bit about lately. I would love to listen to more podcasts and audio books, but I don’t have a job that makes it easy to put on my headphones and pay attention. Do any of us, really? The podcasts that I enjoy are ones that demand your full attention, they’re not something that’s easy to keep up with while you’re reading and responding to emails or being constantly interrupted with meetings and requests.

So I’ve been trying to start a few habits that help me towards my goal of consuming more worthwhile, DIY, hand made media. The first is turning what was TV time into podcast time. Whenever I feel the impulse to watch TV, I just listen to something in my queue instead. The second habit is to pop in my ear buds and listen in bed before I pass out.

I, like everybody, don’t have many passive hours in a given day. I try to make the most out of the ones I do have and listen to some of these really great, funny and genuinely interesting shows:

"If you dream of getting rock star parking in front of the restaurant, the only way you’ll ever..."

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:01:54 -0600

“If you dream of getting rock star parking in front of the restaurant, the only way you’ll ever get it is if you actually drive by the restaurant. If you keep parking six blocks away because you know that’s where the parking is, then you’re going to have that experience where you walk up to the restaurant and there’s a parking spot there and you’re going to think, “Aw, that could have been mine.” So drive by the restaurant.”

- Stu Maschwitz - Filmmaker, photographer and writer. As heard on the Scruffy Thinking podcast.

I really love this analogy and this whole episode is one of the best conversations I’ve heard about doing what you love, and why that’s not as clean-cut as it sounds.

Look at me try to do something clever with a Facebook cover...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 11:22:00 -0600

Look at me try to do something clever with a Facebook cover image.

Stereo Dipolomacy

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:28:20 -0600

The Issue:

I like the music a bit louder. She likes the music a bit softer. We’re at opposite ends of the couch. I have the bluetooth keyboard for the Mac that’s streaming the music. She has the remote to the A/V receiver that the Mac is hooked up to. Here is how the situation plays out in the framework of national politics.

I turn up the volume on the Mac. — A bill is introduced.
She turns down the volume on the receiver. — The bill is debated in the house.
I turn up the volume a bit more on the Mac. — The majority exerts its influence to advance the bill.
She hits the power button the the receiver. — The opposition exercises the nuclear option.

Then, unlike national politics, we laugh about the situation and find a happy medium so we can both enjoy the music. Hey Washington, you could take a lesson or two from modern couples with complicated stereo systems!

Anyone else in the Crossroads been noticing all the new robot...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:36:32 -0600

Anyone else in the Crossroads been noticing all the new robot faces? I kinda like ‘em.

Headlines That Made Me Think Gizmodo Writers Are All Under 20

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 09:44:03 -0600

Not only was Louis C.K.’s online experiment a huge...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:16:47 -0600

Not only was Louis C.K.’s online experiment a huge success, but every part of the experience sounds like Louis wrote it. I’m a sucker for that level of attention to detail.

Well done, asshole.

I’m With Stupid For reference, the Mac is pointing to the...

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 16:05:06 -0600

I’m With Stupid

For reference, the Mac is pointing to the PC. I like to get inside the minds of my computers and make them compete for my love.

Amish MacBooks - For Kids!

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 13:01:24 -0600

I’ve officially become the uncle who makes you presents instead of ponying up and buying the Wii you asked for. Luckily, My niece and nephew are young enough to be excited about whatever gifts they get. I have a couple more years before they realize that I’m co-opting my hobbies into gift-giving ideas.

I had seen something similar online and I really liked the concept. Also, it’s only two pieces of wood. That means there are fewer opportunities for me to screw it up.

It’s just about the size of a 13” MacBook. It’s a little thicker than I would have liked, but I don’t have a planer, so deal with it, kiddos. I engraved and colored their initial into the back and did a double version of that MacBook Pro notch so they can easily open them. Unlike the MacBook, there aren’t insanely sharp corners on either side of the notch.

The inside is painted with chalkboard paint. I’ve used it before on their toybox and I really like it. I embedded magnets in the corners to help is stay shut. This particular model is labeled “MaliaBook Pro”. No matter what you read online, it’s way better than the MaliaBook Air.

An Average Email Recipient List

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:49:24 -0600

If you work in an office and your particular office is technologically forward-thinking enough to use electronic mail, you undoubtedly receive too many emails. Most of them may have nothing to do with you, yet you still get them. Here’s an archetypal email recipient list that might help you gain some insight into why you got that email.

SUBJECT: Revised layouts for Project Big Deal
SENDER: Greg Coworkerson
SENT: Tuesday 7:02pm
TO:

The one person who needed the revised layouts
The project manager for Project Big Deal that Greg copies on absolutely every email…just in case
Greg’s boss, whom he is trying to impress by working after 5pm
Greg’s boss’s boss because, eh, it couldn’t hurt
Someone with a name similar to someone Greg meant to send the email to. He get’s a little happy with Outlook’s autocomplete feature.
Greg. Because Greg doesn’t get how the “sent mail” folder works.
Greg’s mom. Sorry, autocomplete again.
The account manager on Project Big Deal. She doesn’t need the revised layouts, but Greg is really into her and this is his misguided attempt to flirt.

Hey Kansas City friends, if you missed the plaza lighting...

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 22:13:48 -0600

Hey Kansas City friends, if you missed the plaza lighting ceremony tonight, I’ve created an animated gif that will give you an idea of the excitement and wonder that you can only experience during such an amazing event.

"I must study politics and war, that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and..."

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:54:32 -0600

““I must study politics and war, that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy, natural history and naval architecture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, tapestry, and porcelain.””

- John Adams

Project: Skinny Oak Table

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 09:17:25 -0600

The final home for this table will be behind the toilet in our bathroom. So rather than post pictures of my bathroom on the internet, I thought I’d take some photos of this one outside. You’re welcome.

The top was constructed exactly like I did my desk. The process is really simple and I love the look of it. Oh, and it’s a helluva lot cheaper than buying big slabs of oak. I would imagine, I actually have no idea. I did not major in Wood Pricing. Get off my back! Geez.

The legs are made from balusters that were part of the staircase that we removed when we renovated our house. None of them were long enough by themselves, so each leg is made of three laminated pieces. I think it’s a cool look. If you didn’t know any better, you might think that I planned it this way. But no, I just wanted to use up that wood. Now it’s used up. Take that, wood.

So now we have a table in the bathroom for candles, vases, a thesaurus, guns, or whatever! It’ll also function as a place to set your beer while you pee.

What Your Office Decorations Say About You

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:10:00 -0600

Less than ten concert posters: I really enjoy this band.
More than ten concert posters: I am in this band.
Anne Geddes poster of a baby dressed as a flower: I have ten more posters like this in my very pink bedroom.
Star Wars Action Figures: Uh, no idiot. Those are Star Trek action figures. I don’t even think I want to fix your computer now.
Liquor Bottles: I’ve reached a comfortable place with my alcoholism.
Successories Motivational Poster: I am completely unqualified to lead people.
Simpsons Figurines: I think the series peaked with season 8 but I think seasons 12 and 15 had some highlights and I would like to talk about them at length.

Project: Oak and Metal Desk

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:16:57 -0600

I had been using the same $60 Best Buy particle board computer desk for the last decade. Since I spend way too many waking hours at my desk, I figured it was time to make myself a new one. I really liked this desk that I saw on Etsy and wanted to create something with the same industrial-ish look. So here’s what I came up with:

Here’s how it came together!

The main materials are just 3/4” MDF, hardwood oak flooring and fence post tubing. Pro tip: Swallow your pride and let someone help you load 4’x8’ sheets of MDF. Your back will thank you. Ow.

The first step was to cut the MDF to size and then create a hardwood floor on top of it. I don’t have an actual flooring nailer, so I just used my brad nailer and nailed through the tongue on the floor boards. It actually worked out pretty well. Each board is also glued in place. These suckers will not be going anywhere.

When all the flooring was in place, I trimmed off all the excess. It’s starting to look like a desk! Or a very tiny dance floor.

To conceal those ugly edges, I ripped some longer floor boards and used them to trim the desktop.

I created the upper desktop using the same method. I arranged the boards for the top in the opposite direction to create a cool visual effect. I spent a ton of time sanding these. After tearing through a billion sheets of sandpaper, it’s as smooth as one continuous piece of wood. It would be amazingly irritating to be able to feel any seams or joints, especially when trying to use a mouse.

The feet for the upper desktop were created from a stair railing that we took out of the house when we did the renovation. It’s been sitting in my garage for five years and I finally managed to find a good use for it.

The metal tube base was really easy. I cut the pipes to size and fitted them together with Kee Klamps. Each of the joints are secured with a set screw, so the desk can easy be broken down to move.

From there it was just a matter of stain, polyurethane and other finishing touches. I’m really happy with how it turned out. I’m currently working on a small table using this same technique. It was a good excuse to use up the leftover hardwood and, well, I just really like making things.

Thanks to my friend Tim of Round Tree Design for the consultation and tips!